Messy play. Two words that, on some level, used to fill me with dread. My kids are much older now but I can still picture the scene: grubby toddlers, paint splatters, lumps of Play-Doh absolutely everywhere. As it happens, my boys weren’t really feeling it either. While other kids leapt headfirst into the muck, my lads would leave Messy Play sessions as they came in. Spotless.
It must be something in the blood. The boys are finicky like me, sensitive about certain sights, flavours and textures. I remember my eldest Ezra’s near-horror at the first sensations of grass under his bare feet. Our first trip to the beach was problematic as he really definitely did not want to feel the sand between his toes.
And I still laugh at this photo from Camp Bestival 2012, where pop star Sophie Ellis Bextor’s posing with my youngest. Jed had to do a ‘mucky dip’ to win a prize and Sophie couldn’t help giggling at his disturbed expression. She told me her little boy was super fussy too.
It’s funny because we’re not exactly a family of neat freaks. Mud baths and sandpits aren’t their thing, but the babes find many ways to create mess. And we do love to play. In fact, I’ve discovered that messy play is essential to my creativity and wellbeing.
Messy Play for Creative Mamas
Whether you’re writing a book, working on an art project, growing a blog or even starting a business, messy play is crucial to your process. Throw out the rule book from time to time. Let your imagination loose, and see what happens. Messy play might just be the secret to your success.
So what does messy play for mums actually look like? Do you have to put on overalls and pin up your hair? Are wellies needed? Will there be hosing down afterwards?
Short answer: it’s totally up to you. That’s the joy of messy play: you can make it anything you want, for no reason at all other than to get your creative juices flowing. You don’t need to have a goal or a system. It doesn’t have to fit into your calendar (although you should create space for a little messy play every day).
Messy play can look like taking out a blank piece of paper and free writing. Use a prompt or a timer, or just write until you get cramp in your hand. Make chalk paintings on the pavement outside. Dance wildly to YouTube choreography videos. Try patching together recipes off the internet, or inventing a dish from whatever’s in the fridge. Put together a vision board of sticky notes on your living room wall.
Messy play can be as simple as walking a different route home from the school run. An impromptu night out for cocktails with your favourite mamas. Letting your kids call the shots for a day. Messy play is whatever gets your imagination fired up.
Why We Need to Get Messy
Sure, I hear you thinking, all that sounds entertaining but isn’t it a waste of time? I mean, what’s the point of it anyway?
It turns out that messy play is not just mucking about. It’s vital for your mental health, creative growth and personal connections. Messy play is another form of self-care. It gives your mind space to breathe and explore.
We pile so much pressure on ourselves as mums. It’s important to unplug from digital and social pressures and be fully present in the moment. Messy play releases us from judgement and expectation. It helps us let go of perfectionism, one of the major hangups for mothers who create.
I’m working on a long-form project that is scary to contemplate. Big topic, urgent deadline. The way I’m tackling it is to give myself time to mess around on it every day, rather than aiming for perfection.
I record ideas, jot down notes, find inspirational images, capture quotes and lyrics. When you adopt a playful mindset, everything you consume will feed your work (even when you can’t see an immediate link).
Messy Play is Serious Business
For decades, psychologists and wellness experts have promoted the benefits of play. In his popular TED talk, psychiatrist Dr Stuart Brown tells us: ‘Nothing lights up the brain like play’.
Large corporations send teams on bonding weekends to run wild with the wolves or hunt each other with paint-balling rifles. Adult colouring books were all the rage a few years back. If you’re in London, you can spend an evening bouncing around in a ball pit for big people.
The thing about ‘play’ is that it can become quite competitive. That includes board games, sports clubs, training for a marathon, even yoga. We start setting unrealistic targets and measuring ourselves up against our peers. But messy play frees you to just have fun for fun’s sake.
Messy play connects you with a childhood sense of wonder and delight. When you’re fully immersed in messy play, you get into a state known as ‘Flow’. You become so absorbed in what you’re doing that you forget about time, space and those cries of ‘what’s for dinner, mummy?’ In other words, you get lost in the moment.
Our new series, Mindfulness for Mothers, will look at simple ways to relax, recharge and reconnect with our deepest, truest selves. Start today. Why not take one thing off your to-do list and replace it with some messy play?
After I’ve signed off from this blog, I might bash away at Jed’s keyboard or Ezra’s drums. Do some hula hooping in the living room, paint a rainbow on my toenails, or create something fun with the boys. Who knows, maybe we’ll even get our fingers dirty.
What are your favourite messy play activities?
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